“What came first the chicken or the Dickhead?”

Hello Internet, good evening, how are you doing? I have been doing alright. I’m sorry I haven’t been around as much… well, at least not that much for a person that is usually perpetually active on twitter and such places.

Rephrase: “I haven’t been around nearly as much as I usually would be. For that I am sorry in the rare event that you might have missed me or wondered if I have become roadkill by now, I’m still alive. Hi!”

I am alive and well, currently in Italy on vacation with my family. I think I needed a little of that. Some history, sun and touristy activities. I recommend it, even if it is not somewhere like Italy. A change of pace is always a nice idea when you feel overloaded with everything.

Since going on this trip, I have been limiting my usage of data. I will have to credit a huge part of this decision not as much to my iron will as to the fact that I cannot afford to use the amount of wild data necessary for constant updates in a foreign country, on top of that not every public place has free WIFI-access. Tragic much. Not to mention, skype has not been working for me since 1920 so that’s all the way downplay ayyy…  This data-diet made me realise something: No matter how ‘millennium generation’ this sounds, Twitter and Skype have become very dear to me. I am positively addicted if that wasn’t clear already. Going cold Turkey has been vexing, frustrating and lonely despite being around people. I had to turn more and more to myself for my spur of the moment thoughts and could not rid of them if I tried. I first thought I just had to “suffer” through this and enjoy my vacation ignoring that gnawing feeling until I noticed that this kind of environment made it easier for me to write. That made it all suddenly way more beareable, it did!

Alright, I suppose “write” does sound a little pretentious for what I am actually doing. Just think about the actual verb instead of anything grand or philosophical. An “Anba Len novel” won’t be in your local bookshop for quite awhile, I reckon.

Writing could be anything, from doodles on napkins to sagas about worlds visited through old closets. I will leave it to you to decide on which side of the scale my scribbles belong.

Along that line I realised that, perhaps, Twitter, as convenient as it is, makes me milk my thoughts a little to quickly. I tend to follow the principle “Uit het oog, uit het hart.” in life. I reckon it is one of those emotional defense mechanisms or something… it’s a Dutch saying that means as much as “Once something/someone leaves your field of vision, it/they also leave(s) your thoughts.” literally translated it says “Out of the eye, out of the heart.”

More tangibly put, I tend to over-share, albeit with some censoring here and there. I tend to quickly discard my thoughts without fully developing the raw materials that come up in that split second. I send them off almost simultaneously as they come up. Instant gratification. I believe that even someone like I has their moments of brilliance, but instead of sitting on that egg for awhile I immediately tend to throw it on some hot rice with soy sauce to put on the table. Whilst that can be tasty and filling, it does not touch upon even a notion of the many more nutrituous possibilities eggs have combined with other ingredients and techniques. Twitter and other such convenient places have become a place of egg dumping instead of refining the art of cooking and baking. When they do develop, it is mainly because I have bright followers helping me, it all never goes very far by myself.

The cold turkey state I’m in right now, however, left me to fend on my own. Apparently that is not necessarily a bad thing. Some battles should be fought by yourself.

I came up with quite a few interesting musings, or so I’d like to think myself. There is always the danger, however, that this semi-internet-confinement has left me vulnerable to my natural haughtiness and arrogance. No one around to put my feet back on the ground and stuff. Though as time passes I have come to ponder if that arrogance is not the key to something more?

From experience and hearsay I know that children tend to commit to develop the skills they are already praised for. Why would you develop a skill you are seemingly bad at anyways? You either already think you are good at it or can see yourself being good at it. I know quite the fair amount of people, for example, that went into teaching because they thought the teachers they had were rubbish and they saw themselves doing better. An interview of my favourite English band, The Arctic Monkeys, confirmed those thoughts for me. Alex Turner, the lyricist and main vocalist of the band, mentioned how he first tried his hand at writing lyrics when he was 12. At 12 years old he heard a song from the Beatles and thought it sounded like something silly he could have come up with if he had sat down to write it. Much like we all probably had a moment in life where we looked at a Picasso painting and found ourselves, in our imagination at least, capable of such paintings if we had a reliable gag-reflex, ate just the right amount and variation of finger-paint and were sat in front of a canvas. Some well timed arrogance lead him to try to write for himself and then learn first-hand how it is not as easy as it looks/sounds.

I found that notion interesting. A pinch of arrogance, some reality and then acquired humbleness to a serious and focused pursuit of the art. All of this realised without the help of any social media or person to tell him he should go for it. Even now he, apparently, abhors the idea of Twitter. I am fairly certain that this attitude has become part of the AM marketing stunt, but let us stay romantic and assume he does this to sit on those eggs in his head, developing them by himself until he throws it into public and hatches a golden one or to make some mighty good cheese and spinach omelet with it.

For now, I am studying up on that and trying out this and that by myself. I hope that I can show you the fruit-… er… eggs (?) of my efforts someday…

Anyways.

Though micro-blogging has become as natural as breathing for me, lengthy blogging like this is unknown territory. A little frightening even… hopefully I will manage to get a little better at it over time.

As always, feel free to leave comments, I can only learn from you!! Meanwhile, I will do my best to sit on these little quail eggs here for awhile so that maybe someday I will hatch something that can move about on its own and if not I will watch some more literary Ramsey videos to whip up, at least, a decent sunny side up when we meet again.

Goodnight!

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6 thoughts on ““What came first the chicken or the Dickhead?”

  1. Hello!! It’s ok if you don’t get that much time on twitter, there are times when we want to do our own thing after all. It’s nice of you to think of people and let them know what you’re doing though!!

    Going on a vacation must be fun. Italy seems like a really great place!
    It’s a bummer that you’ll deal with WIFI problems though. I hope you’ll manage!

    Hmm. Contrary to you. I would actually want to be able to express my thoughts on the go. I really can’t make spur-of-the-moment posts as I’m afraid I might be saying something stupid or offending to people.
    I have long thoughts that I want to express. But even then I don’t normally get to tell those. I really wish I was more natural. As I feel expressing feelings in the moment is a sign of courage and honesty. I just seem to freak people out with my unusually long posts;;

    I do feel like the internet gives you too much freedom which in turn will expose you to new things. Good or bad. Though I guess that in a way, makes us lazy since we have access to all these great things and you end up not knowing what to learn/do at all. Which is why we let loose when there’s no net!

    I tend to work on skills I’m bad at. Cause it really makes me feel insecure. Probably, I just want to prove that I can do the same things those talented people do.. I found out about singing a year ago and I figured I might be able to do it. I self-taught myself singing and mixing thinking I could catch on to the same level as those utaite who worked hard on their talent for years.. I was arrogant. But also because I was interested in the community. I wanted to get to know all these sorts of people. I was inspired by how they get driven by their passion. And I figured I wouldn’t gonna be taken seriously if I take everything half-heartedly.. Right now I absolutely love singing and I’m willing to give it time and work on it! I might not be able to get in the current community now. But I might be able to meet new people in the future!

    Welp. Sorry for the long rant. I do hope you get to find the answers you’re looking for in your vacation!
    You are honestly such a great and genuinely interesting person, maybe we can talk about anime or music in the future;;
    Again, please enjoy your vacation!! Stay safe!!! o/

    • No idea if it is as interesting to know how I’m doing, but I’d like to think of it as a gesture of respect or something. The least I can do for nice people like you that actually keep up with my senseless blabbering. I’m glad I choose to do so, seeing I got to read your reply!
      As for the Wifi problems, they aren’t fun but fortunately not the end of the world! Humans are surprisingly creative when they are left on their own. The rest of my family has started to read more and I believe that, that’s a nice thing. Still, we’re quite the modern family and to pursue this as an ongoing lifestyle would not be up for debate, way too cramped for us. We have gotten used to having our own space somehow, so for a vacation it’s nice but not for eternity, surely not haha.
      On the go expressing is really nice, I certainly agree. I really enjoy Twitter and it gives me great deals of inspiration. It even holds me to my shopping lists and schedules sometimes haha, I’m an awfully forgetful creature, it’s a shame really. I guess, I am sometimes a little too invested in it though. There are thoughts I need to give more time and tasting before I throw it at people. That’s for me personally though, I am just not that intelligent so I need to revise what I say more often and learn from it. I think this might differ for each and every person!!
      Despite all that, I think you should ease yourself in the long posts anyways. I mean, if all that is stopping you is the insecurity of saying something wrong. I think it could be an interesting challenge!! Certainly, there will be an audience for your thoughts as there are apperently for mine (thank you <3).
      Working on what you're bad at is pretty cool!! Sounds a little shounen-anime even. Work away those weaknesses!! I do that only when I have the clear image that I could possibly become better at it ;'p the coward's way out… I should learn from you! I admire your courage to plunge in the deep like that! Keep it up!
      Oh please don't think you're not part of the community, you always are as long as you busy yourself with similar interests!! I'm also very happy to hear how much time and effort you put into your stuff. Half arsed-ness is always a little off-putting, I'd say. Keep up the good work, you're doing great!! I love your attitude too, put yourself out there man!!
      I really am thankful for your presence and a little smug with the attention you give my words. You don't just skim, you properly tried to decipher my incoherent thoughts and formulated them way more eloquently than I ever could to then add your own. I'm very much obliged!
      Yeah, hopefully I will find the answers I crave. At the moment I am not even sure what the question I am hunting might be, but I figure it might turn up somewhere along the way!
      Don't worry about long rants! I'm an avid reader and reading people's thoughts that are genuine and invested is more of a joy to me than anything!! Do not hesitate to share yours with me. If we agree or not, it doesn't matter, we learn from each other and that will surely lead us to become better people somehow. Humans are creatures like that, we build upon each other and reach higher and higher as long as we take a moment to learn from the past and stay open to each other's input!

  2. I really wonder what owes the seeming lack of comments around here. I myself tend to like your posts to a fair extent but sometimes shy off and not comment anything. Also I sometimes feel that replying something short & half assed is just diminishing in value, so I try to avoid lack of substance. Not that everything I say has a point, but I try~!
    Tbh I had wanted to reply to one of your posts for a while (& I mean a whiiiileeee…) but I’ve been so desperately trying not to drown amidst so much freaking paperwork & stuff that I was just unable to sit down & type something with essence. Particularly because I do enjoy reading the content & I want to display my support for this project of yours, because I don’t see many people visibly/vocally appreciating it, even tho I’m sure there must be others who like this as much as mezelf.

    Tonikaku I hope you have found your culturally and philosophically enlightening holidays with utmost pleasure, I am sure you deserved that. Might I add, even tho you are a creator of public content (I’m somewhat unsure abt how to label this ne..), you should never feel a shroud of guilt when taking a break, even if it means of hiatus in the content production. You are, after all, just as human as everyone else (except for those freaking seemingly perfect people that always go driving me nutz ugh).

    I can only imagine how ghastly it must be to be deprived from one of your primary lines of expression. Nonetheless, I do wonder about the difference in nature between the communicative protocols from Twitter & those in Skype. Do you find that you feel similarly expressive in both platforms? I concur with some peers in that Twitter being of an inherently less private nature makes them feel distinctly wary about their interactions. & not only in the sense of mild censorship that you described. Still I must admit I do have some friends whose Skype chat is nigh indistinguishable from their shitposting on Twitter.

    I have never personally exalted the significance of the verb ‘to write’. To me writing is pretty much an ordinary activity. I contrast this action to ‘compose’. A composition can lead to the creation of a work of art if it is done elegantly & with the indicated essence. Although that may be part of my traditional musical heritage speaking, and sometimes I have trouble consolidating that viewpoint with my occasional attraction to more modern & countercultural art (like the doodles you mention).

    I am acquainted with your Dutch saying, & I am of the idea that it is pretty much an European cultural thing. You can find variants of such in some other European tongues such as the ‘out of sight, out of mind’ English proverbial artifact. I take it should carry exactly the same content. It must be dictated by geographical occurrences.

    Even though I agree that more thought out content can feel more gratifying, I think maybe the recency of your experience with it also affects the way you feel about it. I think spontaneity is similarly rewarding when there’s someone willing & able to interact.

    I posit arrogance can mostly only be put to good use with a good dose of stubbornness & initiative. I know many people who are merely arrogant critics, but who do not further the field they feel happy to comment on.
    I’ve always felt dubious about the content of tweets from artist & public figures. They must have some systemic coordination with their PR team I reckon. I’ve never asked anyone competent on the topic tho.

    Your metaphors are making me really hungry Anba >~< & the closest thing to food I have laying around is my banana pencil case heh…
    I'll sign off for now to go grab a bite somewhere. Stay cool~
    46R ⏄

  3. ​I really wonder what owes the seeming lack of comments around here in general. I myself tend to like your posts to a fair extent but usually shy off and not comment anything. Also I sometimes feel that replying something short & half assed is just diminishing in value, so I try to avoid lack of substance. Not that everything I say has a point, but I try~!
    Tbh I had wanted to reply to one of your posts for a while (& I mean a whiiiileeee…) but I’ve been so desperately trying not to drown amidst so much freaking paperwork & stuff that I was just unable to sit down & type something with essence. Particularly because I do enjoy reading the content & I want to display my support for this project of yours, because I don’t see many people visibly/vocally appreciating it, even tho I’m sure there must be others who like this as much as mezelf.
    Tonikaku I hope you have found your culturally and philosophically enlightening holidays with utmost pleasure, I am sure you deserved that. Might I add, even tho you are a creator of public content (I’m somewhat unsure abt how to label this ne..), you should never feel a shroud of guilt when taking a break, even if it means of hiatus in the content production. You are, after all, just as human as everyone else (except for those freaking seemingly perfect people that always go driving me nutz ugh).
    I can only imagine how ghastly it must be to be deprived from one of your primary lines of expression. Nonetheless, I do wonder about the difference in nature between the communicative protocols from Twitter & those in Skype. Do you find that you feel similarly expressive in both platforms? I concur with some peers in that Twitter being of an inherently less private nature makes them feel distinctly wary about their interactions. & not only in the sense of mild censorship that you described. Still I must admit I do have some friends whose Skype chat is nigh indistinguishable from their shitposting on Twitter.
    I have never personally exalted the significance of the verb ‘to write’. To me writing is pretty much an ordinary activity. I contrast this action to ‘compose’. A composition can lead to the creation of a work of art if it is done elegantly & with the indicated essence. Although that may be part of my traditional musical heritage speaking, and sometimes I have trouble consolidating that viewpoint with my occasional attraction to more modern & countercultural art (like the doodles you mention).
    I am acquainted with your Dutch saying, & I am of the idea that it is pretty much an European cultural thing. You can find variants of such in some other European tongues such as the ‘out of sight, out of mind’ English proverbial artifact. I take it should carry exactly the same content. It must be dictated by geographical occurrences.
    Even though I agree that more thought out content can feel more gratifying, I think maybe the recency of your experience with it also affects the way you feel about it. I think spontaneity is similarly rewarding when there’s someone willing & able to interact.
    I posit arrogance can mostly only be put to good use with a good dose of stubbornness & initiative. I know many people who are merely arrogant critics, but who do not further the field they feel happy to comment on.
    I’ve always felt dubious about the content of tweets from artist & public figures. They must have some systemic coordination with their PR team I reckon. I’ve never asked anyone competent on the topic tho.
    Your metaphors are making me really hungry Anba >~< & the closest thing to food I have laying around is my banana pencil case heh…
    I'll sign off for now to go grab a bite somewhere. Stay cool~
    46R ⏄

    • Hello 46Rorek, nice to meet you there, first and foremost thank you so much for your comment. It’s really overwhelming how much thought you put in your reply. I got a little intimidated by your writing too, you have a way with words my friend. I should learn a trick or two from you, though I’m guessing to some people it comes more natural than others! Flattery aside, I mean it though I was seriously overwhelmed and a little impressed, time for a reply!

      I am of the same opinion that a comment with little thought behind it is so much worse than no comment at all. I’m glad you comment when you feel contemplated to do so!! It makes this entire thing more relaxing for me too. When I feel the audience reading it is not having fun then for me that builds up the pressure as well. So I want to thank you for your honesty!!

      Paperwork, business, man sounds like you’re doing the “adult” thing. I am not super-good at English so I wonder if “adulting” is a verb… if it’s not I hereby, for the sake of this reply, declare it a verb. I’m not very fond of “adulting” myself but it’s necessary, isn’t it? I hope life is treating you well, nonetheless. There are so many different ways to be busy and I sincerely hope yours is the good kind of busy!! If not, I hope you’ll get through that stack and find a nice reward for it! We don’t always do things for rewards, but if we’re honest it’s always nice to receive one, regardless.

      I must say, I didn’t go out on vacation for any special kind of reason aside from “being” in Italy, which is a pretty cool place to go to. I did not expect to get all contemplating when I arrived here and had this semi-detox going on. Also, very good food here… maybe I should not write things on an empty stomach, I keep going back to food and making you hungry, forgive me haha. (traditional Italian cooking is awesome though!!)

      I like that, title ” Creator Of Public Content.” COPC, huh. there is no pressure behind such a title, much like the verb “to write.” Umbrellas. I also like how you distinguish it from “composing.” I am not very musically learned nor gifted so it is nice to have someone else flip these light switches in my brain on haha!! I am really helpless left completely on my own. A push here and there lead to the coolest discoveries though! Not that labelling, I am sure you are of the same opinion here, is necessary, but I guess since I do like languages and stuff, I end up doing it anyways. It gives an odd feeling of satisfaction to see things in their proper, personally dictated, categories. A little like arranging M&M’s by colour, not necessarily productive and should definitely NOT get in the way of your interactions with people/situations you don’t know, but oddly satisfying anyways.

      Skype and Twitter… Hmm, The censoring on Twitter I was talking about also encompasses my conscious efforts to string along a large group of people that might not be directly related to me, so you are absolutely right when you distinguish them more clearly. They are very different media to communicate through. Close friends will not hear content put the same way as I would to my followers on Twitter and definitely visa versa haha. I am always aware that Twitter is public and that, if I throw stuff on my TL, that is should be content that a large group of people can relate/react to. I usually do not throw thoughts on my TL that can’t be reacted to unless when I’m in conversation with people, in which case it really depends on the person and topic of conversation,
      but that’s where we’re going into social conventions and our own interpretation of internet etiquette. Digressing.

      So yeah, and Skype is different again when we’re talking in a group chat or one on one. I really enjoyed the “sh*tposting” line haha, I actually had a smile from that one ;’p! I did the creeper in front of the screen-smile. Pretty sure my father rolled his eyes at me in the back, computers can be funny things!

      And then there is this place, where I get a more personal view on people’s thoughts in more elaborate wordings and with more thought behind them. I get a glimpse of something more in there and it’s a little thrilling to experience! Sounds kind of creepy since I am talking about your reply here, forgive me I am definitely a weirdo.

      “Out of sight out of mind” would be the perfect translation with the same weight, man… this is one of those hindsight moments where I wish I would have thought of that to explain it. It would have saved me from writing those extra unnecessary words when there is such a pretty alternative for it. Thank you though!! I will keep this in mind. It seems pretty Western-European indeed. Or European, who even knows. I guess since our countries are all so connected, so we can easily move about and out. In the past it must have been quite the thing, before the EU right, so maybe that’s why Europeans have something sour but also familiar when it comes to “goodbye’s.” As the world is turning more global I feel more and more people are eased into this feeling though. Whether that’s good or bad will depend entirely on how the person being left behind/doing the leaving takes it I guess.

      ” Even though I agree that more thought out content can feel more gratifying, I think maybe the recency of your experience with it also affects the way you feel about it. I think spontaneity is similarly rewarding when there’s someone willing & able to interact.”
      => Yup, I might have been a little fast when I pulled that post. I am not seeing it as definite as I put it down there I guess. I still use Twitter and enjoy both paces of writing. You are absolutely right when the recency of this new experience, finding out I need to use my brain some more haha, left me with a preference towards one side. Maybe, if I can develop both or even combine them, I’ll come up with a different conclusion yet again. I shall have to thread carefully!! ;’)

      “I posit arrogance can mostly only be put to good use with a good dose of stubbornness & initiative. I know many people who are merely arrogant critics, but who do not further the field they feel happy to comment on.”
      => Absolutely agree here as well, vision does not equal skill. It is just a part of it and if you don’t sit down to develop those skills you are essentially not going anywhere. It’s important to have that proper balance, that’s why I suggest just a “pinch” of arrogance haha. I think it is always hard for us to dose ourselves though, we have all been Icarus at least once in our lives, I think it depends on how we deal with that experience that will decide whether we’ll grow from it or turn into unpleasant conversationalists haha.

      You, on the other hand, turned out to be a very pleasant conversationalist and I would like to thank you again for your effort and thoughts!! Hope you will keep doing well and watch out for your health. Catching summer-colds sucks /sniffles/.

      • 4679 Anba~ although I still hold that our first interaction was when you asked something like ‘who is this person?’ and I tried to help and then you called me a spy or something like that… it was interesting ww
        I’m sorry for sounding intimidating I swear I am nice I just maybe like the sound of more complex lexis. I assure you my vernacular speaks not for my personality… methinks. I am regardless humbled by your praise, thank you v much~
        I’d gladly share my knowledge with anyone who would so desire, although I a,pm not so sure about my trickery cuz I didn’t even know I had ‘tricks’ to teach ;3;

        Oh please don’t even I can’t begin to tell you how much I suck at adulting (the closest I can think to the semantic origin is probably ‘adulterate’ but that’s way off so I’ll stick to the fabrication) like I can’t even really cook an egg and that added to the misery of the metaphor-driven hunger last time… At any rate, it’s mostly just university related paperwork as well as some passport/visas shimemabobs that I hate and sometimes don’t understand. I’d be half lost without my mother’s legal advice even if I am somewhat ashamed to admit it. Hopefully that’s all sorted out since today’s noon and now I can go to a spiritual retirement of my own (maybe a bit of data diet too omg TwT) for a bit before I get back to normal academic endeavors.

        I met some Italian friends last time I was in Tokyo and I can’t begin to explain to you how gigantic their despise towards ketchup and Family Mart pasta appeared to be. If their cuisine is even half as good as they made it sound it must be orgasmically good.

        Well I am a bit musically learned but definitely not as talented as my family would want to orz /sobs
        I definitely agree and I think that labeling is almost never precise or adequate enough but it helps lots for practical conceptualization in language acquisition.
        Also I realize your M&M’s example is supposed to be mildly satirical but sometimes I am a bit abrasive when it comes to organization ewe

        Oh… Twitter… Yeah sorry for the short flood I caused on your timeline the other day heh ^^;;; you’re a nice conversationalist tho~
        social conventions and our own interpretation of internet etiquette– as digressing as it may be id like to hear you elaborate a bit on that, I’m curious. Not here if you don’t want to ne.

        Creeper smiles 😄 oh internet peeps are the best. You’re not a weirdo, you’re just internet-y… Current gen… yknow, that stuff you prolly understand, and that prolly your parents just wouldn’t. ..now I remembered when I tried to explain the hipster movement to my mum… wwww

        European languages are so similar in so many different aspects and combinations thereof, it’s so funny… I’m sure as a Belgian resident you must realize this so I’m pretty much stating the obvious but still… I wanted something else and a different approach to language as a concept and apparently we both chose one that is so difficult and has like a bazillion characters like what’s wrong with us Dx

        I feel there are so many threads in this reply alone already so it might be wise to turn it down a bit and maybe chat elsewhere more fluidly when we both can~ so I’ll end it here for now.

        Good luck on your summer-cold and buona sera or however it was

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