Hello Internet, good evening, how are you doing? I have been doing alright. I’m sorry I haven’t been around as much… well, at least not that much for a person that is usually perpetually active on twitter and such places.
Rephrase: “I haven’t been around nearly as much as I usually would be. For that I am sorry in the rare event that you might have missed me or wondered if I have become roadkill by now, I’m still alive. Hi!”
I am alive and well, currently in Italy on vacation with my family. I think I needed a little of that. Some history, sun and touristy activities. I recommend it, even if it is not somewhere like Italy. A change of pace is always a nice idea when you feel overloaded with everything.
Since going on this trip, I have been limiting my usage of data. I will have to credit a huge part of this decision not as much to my iron will as to the fact that I cannot afford to use the amount of wild data necessary for constant updates in a foreign country, on top of that not every public place has free WIFI-access. Tragic much. Not to mention, skype has not been working for me since 1920 so that’s all the way downplay ayyy… This data-diet made me realise something: No matter how ‘millennium generation’ this sounds, Twitter and Skype have become very dear to me. I am positively addicted if that wasn’t clear already. Going cold Turkey has been vexing, frustrating and lonely despite being around people. I had to turn more and more to myself for my spur of the moment thoughts and could not rid of them if I tried. I first thought I just had to “suffer” through this and enjoy my vacation ignoring that gnawing feeling until I noticed that this kind of environment made it easier for me to write. That made it all suddenly way more beareable, it did!
Alright, I suppose “write” does sound a little pretentious for what I am actually doing. Just think about the actual verb instead of anything grand or philosophical. An “Anba Len novel” won’t be in your local bookshop for quite awhile, I reckon.
Writing could be anything, from doodles on napkins to sagas about worlds visited through old closets. I will leave it to you to decide on which side of the scale my scribbles belong.
Along that line I realised that, perhaps, Twitter, as convenient as it is, makes me milk my thoughts a little to quickly. I tend to follow the principle “Uit het oog, uit het hart.” in life. I reckon it is one of those emotional defense mechanisms or something… it’s a Dutch saying that means as much as “Once something/someone leaves your field of vision, it/they also leave(s) your thoughts.” literally translated it says “Out of the eye, out of the heart.”
More tangibly put, I tend to over-share, albeit with some censoring here and there. I tend to quickly discard my thoughts without fully developing the raw materials that come up in that split second. I send them off almost simultaneously as they come up. Instant gratification. I believe that even someone like I has their moments of brilliance, but instead of sitting on that egg for awhile I immediately tend to throw it on some hot rice with soy sauce to put on the table. Whilst that can be tasty and filling, it does not touch upon even a notion of the many more nutrituous possibilities eggs have combined with other ingredients and techniques. Twitter and other such convenient places have become a place of egg dumping instead of refining the art of cooking and baking. When they do develop, it is mainly because I have bright followers helping me, it all never goes very far by myself.
The cold turkey state I’m in right now, however, left me to fend on my own. Apparently that is not necessarily a bad thing. Some battles should be fought by yourself.
I came up with quite a few interesting musings, or so I’d like to think myself. There is always the danger, however, that this semi-internet-confinement has left me vulnerable to my natural haughtiness and arrogance. No one around to put my feet back on the ground and stuff. Though as time passes I have come to ponder if that arrogance is not the key to something more?
From experience and hearsay I know that children tend to commit to develop the skills they are already praised for. Why would you develop a skill you are seemingly bad at anyways? You either already think you are good at it or can see yourself being good at it. I know quite the fair amount of people, for example, that went into teaching because they thought the teachers they had were rubbish and they saw themselves doing better. An interview of my favourite English band, The Arctic Monkeys, confirmed those thoughts for me. Alex Turner, the lyricist and main vocalist of the band, mentioned how he first tried his hand at writing lyrics when he was 12. At 12 years old he heard a song from the Beatles and thought it sounded like something silly he could have come up with if he had sat down to write it. Much like we all probably had a moment in life where we looked at a Picasso painting and found ourselves, in our imagination at least, capable of such paintings if we had a reliable gag-reflex, ate just the right amount and variation of finger-paint and were sat in front of a canvas. Some well timed arrogance lead him to try to write for himself and then learn first-hand how it is not as easy as it looks/sounds.
I found that notion interesting. A pinch of arrogance, some reality and then acquired humbleness to a serious and focused pursuit of the art. All of this realised without the help of any social media or person to tell him he should go for it. Even now he, apparently, abhors the idea of Twitter. I am fairly certain that this attitude has become part of the AM marketing stunt, but let us stay romantic and assume he does this to sit on those eggs in his head, developing them by himself until he throws it into public and hatches a golden one or to make some mighty good cheese and spinach omelet with it.
For now, I am studying up on that and trying out this and that by myself. I hope that I can show you the fruit-… er… eggs (?) of my efforts someday…
Though micro-blogging has become as natural as breathing for me, lengthy blogging like this is unknown territory. A little frightening even… hopefully I will manage to get a little better at it over time.
As always, feel free to leave comments, I can only learn from you!! Meanwhile, I will do my best to sit on these little quail eggs here for awhile so that maybe someday I will hatch something that can move about on its own and if not I will watch some more literary Ramsey videos to whip up, at least, a decent sunny side up when we meet again.