New work: ワンルーム・オール・ザット・ジャズ/One Room, All that Jazz!!

YAaoo, it has been quite awhile again!! How are you all holding up over there?
School has started again and whilst that isn’t the most fun news for everyone, it’s a great time to get yourself back into a schedule for normal human beings!!
Zombie-mode is fun for awhile, but terrible on your health and mood… take care people!

That being said…

!!I have uploaded a solo-cover!!

Took me 4 months to sort myself out, but here we are!!
This time I sang an older song by producer Dateken called “One room, All that Jazz.”

This song holds quite some meaning which we will get to!! STORY TIME: I was actually completely down in the dumps this friday. Very under the weather. I didn’t feel that great and decided to do a livestream to get myself sorted and express whatever I was dealing with. It ended up inspiring me to do better and to rediscover why I am even doing all these cover-like things. If you don’t have a higher-meaning or some kind of goal for things that require some effort, it gets old pretty fast…

During this livestream we talked about many topics involving school, life and whatnot. It made me think about a why I didn’t enjoy uploading anymore.

Summarised, I felt that what I did lacked meaning. I wasn’t adequate enough and didn’t like where the community was heading…

I sorted things out though, I revisted old stuff and found my motivation again! The reason I’m doing this is mainly for myself but ALSO for you. Now, sentimental flattery aside, remember when I talked about a “higher meaning” in the above paragraph? I won’t say that what I upload will change anyone’s lives or gets you Jesus’autograph, BUT some people genuinely enjoy what I do?? I know, it’s crazy!!

When I receive comments I keep being in awe about the idea that someone in an entirely different part of the WORLD has been watching my stuff and felt good doing so. If that’s the kind of effect I can have on people then there IS a meaning to what I do!! If I inspire even ONE person to try something creative themselves or cheer even ONE person up then that’s a feat I can be very proud of. I know people like to stress “do this and that for yourself,” which is true. First and foremost, do it for YOU. But I believe REAL fulfilment comes from doing things you can share and that have an effect on the people you share them with.

Over the years I have received tons of suppor time and time again. People telling me my videos and tweets gave them the courage to try out new things, and whenever I think of that I feel like I’m doing something pretty cool!!

“One room, All that Jazz” represents the fun side of creating. We’re here firstly to enjoy ourselves. This is our time and our space. We do stuff and have fun with it and it might not be perfect from the get-go, but that’s not what it’s about. Having goals and ambitions is important, but it is also important to take things a step at a time and create a space for yourself to breath and enjoy things.

Therefore I did a few things I’m normally a little shy about. I tried to make a fun video with the little means I have (Imovie and a paint-like program) and tried to add a little story to my upload for fun!! Those are things I used to do in bulk back when I first started (kagarirulezz, anyone?) and didn’t have a concept of what is really ‘good’ or ‘bad’ stuff. I just did what sounded right and fun to me. Over the years I have been confronted with people much more talented than myself and felt inadequate and oftentimes envious. Not a pretty emotion, but not completely ‘bad’ either. Use that envy, sense of competiveness and wish to improve to practice and get better!! No need to paralyse yourself over things that need time and exploring!! I’m sh*t at Jazz, but I won’t get any better holding it off because people might say “Your singing doesn’t suit jazz…” well then I’ll damn well sing SO MUCH JAZZ until it DOES suit jazz!!

Anyways, let’s wrap this post up with my personal translations of the song and the upload!! Don’t forget to share, like, comment, all those youtubey things if you enjoyed it, those really lift me up all the way over here in Belgium, just as I hope that my little projects lift you up!!

Now, without further ado, “One room, All that Jazz.【@アンバ】”:



Starting this showtime on my own

A partition just to please myself

This moment is something no one can walk into

A piece of time just for myself


There is no director in sight,

a session to my own liking

I won’t allow intrusion

Everything is all up to me


A worn out keyboard

a hot cup of coffee

My machine in top gear

I don’t need nothing more than this


Collect, connect, and deck

out this space with nothing but my favourite things

Tonight, from this tiny room over here

I will present to you

“One room, all that jazz!”


Midnight has sprung to life

A post-approved type of passion

The adlibs in that space

come to my mind quite naturally


A self explanatory section

that has started to spin and race

no time to take a break

we can always edit another time


An over-used keyword

Lyrics that lack cool vocabulary

Vocals that go off time and pitch

There is no need for pride!


All the off parts are just off about me

Take some of this, some of that, put them together and see

Tie a pretty ribon around it, everything makes sense

Tonight, I will be presenting to you

“One room, all that jazz!”


A worn out keyboard

a hot cup of coffee

My machine is buzzing faster than ever

There is nothing more I need


Collect, connect, and deck

out this space with nothing but my favourite things

Tonight, from this tiny room over here

I will present to you


All the off parts are just off about me

Take some of this, some of that, put them together and see

Tie a pretty ribon, now it all makes sense

Tonight, all the way to you,

Faster than anyone else,

So proud to present to you:


“One room, all that jazz!”


European Youth:

European Youth is neither glamorous nor contagious
A casual, humble passing, uneventful, hesitant
Thrill sought in fool's errands, sauntering through old cobbled streets; 
watching our feet, be careful, don't trip

Dreaming of anywhere else, but the bottom of this deep blue,
Where waves can't be felt

European Youth dreams, turns into itself, folds over and over again
Ambition hiding from scrutiny, behind a semblance of pensive maturity

Sarcasm cloaks, 
All put into perspective

European Youth wants nothing more but to escape
To a far off place, where borders don't matter, 
where magic lives and breathes

European Youth, is busy licking the wounds of the previous generation,
as they watch in admiration, how overseas, peers seem to recklessly
Break the surface of the ocean, again and again

European Youth seeks the sun,
European Youth is too afraid of sunburn,
Awfully afraid, awfully inspired, sleeping cubs of lions

I fell in love in Italy

I fell in love in Italy, for a split second
I fell in love with a girl on a bike.
Or maybe it would be more accurate to say that
I fell in love with a girl and her bike.
Maybe if she were to get off to greet me,
I would fall out of love before realising, I was ever in love at all
This probably means I didn't fall from a great distance,
it was so quick it had no time to resonate, I did not feel any pain, 
no heart wrenching dismay, no pages worth a novel.
She passed me like a gentle breeze, 
as I looked up from my propped up knees
waking me from my musings, albeit somewhat confusing, knew I had fallen, 
nigh missed the sensation

Nonetheless, a small part of myself is now
trudging uphill somewhere,
in Bassano Italy, manoeuvring themselves through cramped streets
to go home (?)

Pretty thing and her bike, they'll never know
what I lost to them, like a reverse robbery, both parties victims of this 
accidental crime
Maybe I'll forget, about my piece of heart by tomorrow
I wonder if that would be considered tragic

Unsupervised tree,

Cat in a box


I concluded that, this is perhaps how humans slowly
find themselves in debt with life
We fall small distances, commit accidental crimes; ever so often 
we lose some heart.
Until the pay is too high and we run out of breath, 
chasing bikes and fluttering hair in daydreams

I somehow like to think of dying that way
A lifetime of unconscious, generous loving,
Until there is no more love to give away

“What came first the chicken or the Dickhead?”

Hello Internet, good evening, how are you doing? I have been doing alright. I’m sorry I haven’t been around as much… well, at least not that much for a person that is usually perpetually active on twitter and such places.

Rephrase: “I haven’t been around nearly as much as I usually would be. For that I am sorry in the rare event that you might have missed me or wondered if I have become roadkill by now, I’m still alive. Hi!”

I am alive and well, currently in Italy on vacation with my family. I think I needed a little of that. Some history, sun and touristy activities. I recommend it, even if it is not somewhere like Italy. A change of pace is always a nice idea when you feel overloaded with everything.

Since going on this trip, I have been limiting my usage of data. I will have to credit a huge part of this decision not as much to my iron will as to the fact that I cannot afford to use the amount of wild data necessary for constant updates in a foreign country, on top of that not every public place has free WIFI-access. Tragic much. Not to mention, skype has not been working for me since 1920 so that’s all the way downplay ayyy…  This data-diet made me realise something: No matter how ‘millennium generation’ this sounds, Twitter and Skype have become very dear to me. I am positively addicted if that wasn’t clear already. Going cold Turkey has been vexing, frustrating and lonely despite being around people. I had to turn more and more to myself for my spur of the moment thoughts and could not rid of them if I tried. I first thought I just had to “suffer” through this and enjoy my vacation ignoring that gnawing feeling until I noticed that this kind of environment made it easier for me to write. That made it all suddenly way more beareable, it did!

Alright, I suppose “write” does sound a little pretentious for what I am actually doing. Just think about the actual verb instead of anything grand or philosophical. An “Anba Len novel” won’t be in your local bookshop for quite awhile, I reckon.

Writing could be anything, from doodles on napkins to sagas about worlds visited through old closets. I will leave it to you to decide on which side of the scale my scribbles belong.

Along that line I realised that, perhaps, Twitter, as convenient as it is, makes me milk my thoughts a little to quickly. I tend to follow the principle “Uit het oog, uit het hart.” in life. I reckon it is one of those emotional defense mechanisms or something… it’s a Dutch saying that means as much as “Once something/someone leaves your field of vision, it/they also leave(s) your thoughts.” literally translated it says “Out of the eye, out of the heart.”

More tangibly put, I tend to over-share, albeit with some censoring here and there. I tend to quickly discard my thoughts without fully developing the raw materials that come up in that split second. I send them off almost simultaneously as they come up. Instant gratification. I believe that even someone like I has their moments of brilliance, but instead of sitting on that egg for awhile I immediately tend to throw it on some hot rice with soy sauce to put on the table. Whilst that can be tasty and filling, it does not touch upon even a notion of the many more nutrituous possibilities eggs have combined with other ingredients and techniques. Twitter and other such convenient places have become a place of egg dumping instead of refining the art of cooking and baking. When they do develop, it is mainly because I have bright followers helping me, it all never goes very far by myself.

The cold turkey state I’m in right now, however, left me to fend on my own. Apparently that is not necessarily a bad thing. Some battles should be fought by yourself.

I came up with quite a few interesting musings, or so I’d like to think myself. There is always the danger, however, that this semi-internet-confinement has left me vulnerable to my natural haughtiness and arrogance. No one around to put my feet back on the ground and stuff. Though as time passes I have come to ponder if that arrogance is not the key to something more?

From experience and hearsay I know that children tend to commit to develop the skills they are already praised for. Why would you develop a skill you are seemingly bad at anyways? You either already think you are good at it or can see yourself being good at it. I know quite the fair amount of people, for example, that went into teaching because they thought the teachers they had were rubbish and they saw themselves doing better. An interview of my favourite English band, The Arctic Monkeys, confirmed those thoughts for me. Alex Turner, the lyricist and main vocalist of the band, mentioned how he first tried his hand at writing lyrics when he was 12. At 12 years old he heard a song from the Beatles and thought it sounded like something silly he could have come up with if he had sat down to write it. Much like we all probably had a moment in life where we looked at a Picasso painting and found ourselves, in our imagination at least, capable of such paintings if we had a reliable gag-reflex, ate just the right amount and variation of finger-paint and were sat in front of a canvas. Some well timed arrogance lead him to try to write for himself and then learn first-hand how it is not as easy as it looks/sounds.

I found that notion interesting. A pinch of arrogance, some reality and then acquired humbleness to a serious and focused pursuit of the art. All of this realised without the help of any social media or person to tell him he should go for it. Even now he, apparently, abhors the idea of Twitter. I am fairly certain that this attitude has become part of the AM marketing stunt, but let us stay romantic and assume he does this to sit on those eggs in his head, developing them by himself until he throws it into public and hatches a golden one or to make some mighty good cheese and spinach omelet with it.

For now, I am studying up on that and trying out this and that by myself. I hope that I can show you the fruit-… er… eggs (?) of my efforts someday…


Though micro-blogging has become as natural as breathing for me, lengthy blogging like this is unknown territory. A little frightening even… hopefully I will manage to get a little better at it over time.

As always, feel free to leave comments, I can only learn from you!! Meanwhile, I will do my best to sit on these little quail eggs here for awhile so that maybe someday I will hatch something that can move about on its own and if not I will watch some more literary Ramsey videos to whip up, at least, a decent sunny side up when we meet again.



Free talk: Trivial things I am troubled by

Hello!! It has been awhile, hasn’t it? I realised I haven’t been very nice to this blog in the least. If this blog were a pet it would have been very lonely and I feel kind of sorry for it… the thing is that everytime I sit in front of my keyboard to write something down I feel like I am saying things no one is waiting for. “These kind of things are more of a twitter-thing, aren’t they?” I end up feeling insecure and then delete my draft. This has happened several times already, until something inside of me started to yell that I should get a grip,

so here we are!!

The topic of today would be “trivial things I am troubled by.”

I think all of us experience these trivial things in life that end up troubling you somewhat. I’m sorry, I’m not being very clear about it, so I will just provide a concrete example:

Trivial trouble 1

When I am watching an anime I can suddenly feel the immense urge to watch one of my favourite Japanese stand up comedian pairs do some sketches or talks, so I pause the anime I am watching and watch one of their shows. Whilst I am watching a show, however, I suddenly feel really curious about the developments in the anime episode I abandoned… in fact, it could be said that the continuation of the story is on my mind the entire time but my urge to watch a comedy video overtakes that curiosity for the time being, so I endure my curiosity for the sake of my urges. This gets on my nerves after awhile so I naturally go back to the anime episode I was watching which then gets interupted by another comedy-urge.

As you can guess, this goes on and off with in between some Nico douga-live streams of my favourite live-streamers and maybe some recordings of radio-shows with Minagawa Junko in them. Recently she is in this show called “Super Lovers” so she is back to having a regular radio show hosted with her co-actors in the series…anyways…

what I am trying to say is that, this is something that is honestly troubling me quite a bit. I feel I might be someone that is very true to their desires…but I am also very insecure about choosing what to spend my time on, so it is hard for me to focus on one thing. It always feels like I am wasting time and am scared I will regret it, so I go back and forth a lot.

Does anyone else experience the same troubles? Does anyone have any advice for how they overcome these kind of trivial troubles?

Definitely leave a comment to tell me what you think and maybe some advice!

Thank you and see you later!


Studying music?

A few musicians I thought I could share!! I like to listen to them anytime, but especially when I’m in a certain mood. Late evenings on my own, when I’m studying, when I’m writing, when I’m drawing,… that is to say, when I need to get into a zone where I seperate myself from my body or something vague like that. To me, listening to them can bring me into this seperate universe which calmes me down and helps me come up with ideas and to formulate my thoughts.

I left a link of one of their songs each, not necessarily the one I like best, but rather one I would like you to listen to or something… There is no particular order here either, whether I prefer listening to one over the other depends entirely on my mood. Anyways, here you go!:

  • Greyson Chance: not a big surpise here, I’ve been hovering around him ever since the paparazzi upload. Creepy? I know. But totally worth it, he keeps growing and developing his music. His current style is completely in synch with the kind of music I can’t get enough of these days. He’s brilliant.
  • In the same line Troye Sivan: I knew him as a vlogger when he suddenly decided to show up up with his song “Happy little pill” followed by and album and the “Blue neighbourhood” series which smashed me right in the inspiration. His lyrics make for nice poetry and his voice… God his voice!
  • Melanie Martinez: Sweetness and creepy in one? Here she is! Her singing style is so very distinct and her songs tell stories. Need I say more? Her stories remind me somewhat of Momo’s style (Project-Mili) of writing sweet, almost fairy tale like, stories with a dark twist to them, so there is no way I could not like her her, right? The flow of the melodies she sings have a particular lulling effect that make you enter a different zone from say Greyson or Troye’s kind of heavier, music. Troye’s music is like being under water looking up to the surface, the sun and the waves. Greyson’s would be being outside in the cold, near a highway under the streetlights with your breath showing up in white clouds and Melanie music is like being at a candy store with bad hygiene, where the sweet smell of various candy lures you in until it assaults you and you feel like vomitting rainbows. When the mood is right I just want to flow on her falling melodies, her syrupy voice and crash with her!
  • Miley Cyrus: Surpise? Though her own music is hit and miss for me, mostly miss, I am obsessed with the texture and timbre of her voice!! Initially, I didn’t like the nasal sound much, but combined with that power from the pit of her stomach and that raw sound from the back of her throat it is addicting to listen to. Her backyard sessions and the covers she does on radio-shows give me life! Her rendition of Summertime sadness has been looped grey by yours truly. I also recommend her cover of “Why’d you only call me when you’re high” and her duet with Ariana Grande “Don’t dream it’s over.” I am honestly not a big Ariana fan as her voice is kind of boring to me, but that flat texture with Miley’s raw one made for a very pleasing duet to listen to!!
  • Hayley Williams/Paramore: Some sugary teen-rock and why f*cking not? Her vocals are incredible!! She has personality and if you don’t feel like having to decipher or interpret songs too much her lyrics are nice and to the point. More often than not, very cliché even, but seriously, who cares? Catchy, fun and powerful! Jumping around makes for good exercise!
  • Arctic Monkeys: I never really stopped listening to them as most people following me on twitter can probably attest… haha… I have literally nothing more to say before I’d say way too much for it to be anything substantial at all! Their music helped me through very rough times. Even now I come back to their stuff to inhale their particular sound that reeks of cigarettes, alcohol, dirty bars and streets and lone days in a run down apartment with only yourself, your guitar, a history of broken hearts and a bottle of Jack Daniels for company. When you are said and need to feel understood or need to feel a certain atmosphere for comfort, their stuff can really bring you from happy highs to deep, raw and emotional sober moments. Alex Turner’s lyrics are true poetry.
  • Tourist Lemc: My Belgian obsession!! Singing in the local dialect of the Antwerp region about things that speak to Belgians and other West-Europeans especially. Very down to earth music, it inspires me so much. His attitude and brilliance are apparent in every song he comes up with and each performance he gives. I want to see him live so badly. He has an amazingly keen awareness of himself as a person, who he is as an artists, how those two are seperate beings but also come together and what message he wants to bring in his lyrics and music. I respect him enormously and wish him and his music would be recognised more widely!!
  • Mika: A little odd one in this list perhaps, seeing as most of the music here is of the heavy high kind. Mika’s songs make me feel so happy and like I’m on clouds! It’s great to listen to when you’re commuting to somewhere. It makes the world that much more colourful! His songs also contain interesting stories from a different realm and are real mood setters for if you’re too deep in the zone and need to resurface and breath a little!! Too much zone can kill your creativity as much as it build it. You need balance!
  • Regina Spektor: She tells surrealistic stories with her lyrics and plays so much with her voice, I can’t not love her! She has a happy-in-the-rain-aspect to her songs. I like listening to her on the bus and at home, when I’m doing anything really! She has that fragile feeling to her voice that makes me want to sip water!! Healthy if nothing else haha!

There are a whole lot more, but these are the first few that popped up in a snap. What do you think? Agree with my list or think it’s rubbish? Any suggestions for artists I can listen to during studying or maybe as a cooldown after an intense session? There are many more but I would have to sit down and write down a real list and… yeah… anyways.

Let’s talk music! I am practically parched here!!! ❤